You will find the need for writing everyday. You are cold and people distance themselves from you and your words are the only other thing that can convinces them otherwise. They [your words] are cold and structured and convoluted. You will need to write to open your heart because it has been too long since you have loved. You will write when you don’t have the voice to sing your emotions away and all you will have is silence. You will write why you are alone and no one to turn to because of your coldness and you will write to warm yourself out of the ice that you have imprisoned yourself in. It [writing] will always be there for you to play with but it’s the heart; your heart that needs to breathe once in a while and let go and be free. You have to try again. You will write because you will want to be happy and find a ways to save it, save it from the future, save it from the hands of time.
This was an assignment during my creative writing class; it was a letter to your future self on how writing can be a part of your future. I got very upset with myself, and just let go. This “power write” has made me acknowledged that I still have a lot of growing to do, and that I need to be more open. Steps to progress. One of my exes brought it to my attention that I have grown bitter and that it may be due to a deep seated issue. *sigh*
We’re so consumed with being the best at something, or having to be thinner than you already are. Why is it so hard to accept who you are? This world has too much self -indulgence and not enough self - acceptance. There are so many unhealthy stereotypes being in the society we are in.
I, myself, am caught in a cross hairs of discrimination. I am Asian, and I am also gay. Being Asian, we have the stereotype that we are silent people, the model minority, the “peace keepers”. We, recently, have been placed on the hierarchy of ascendancy to the ideal of whiteness. We assimilate into the white life, because our ancestors have ingrained into our minds that education and making a good salary job was what life was. We have become the feeders of the gilded American dream.
Being gay, we are forced higher into a bimodal stereotype. Either a high paying job with a partner, and again, assimilating into white supremists logic. The other side is that gays are seen as STD filled heathenistic child-molesters.
But the main topic is beauty. It is known that Asians are exotic and the stereotype of being thin/more petite than the “normal” frame. We’re already regarded as a smaller body than most people expect, thus why so many reports of Asians having eating disorders.
On top of that, being in the Gay community, being thin is key, or rather the stereotype is. Gay men are all supposed to have six packs, defined biceps, and a chest, and not have a ounce of fat on them. I joke about having a tic tac for thanksgiving.
Now polarize being gay AND Asian. The stereotype produces a vicious stereotype. In the downe-scene, many “gaysians” are typically very skinny, toned, shorter than the typical person. Don’t get me wrong, I admire these bodies as well, but it’s this stereotypical perception of such a small community that leads to eating disorders. We are polarized from both the Asian community and the Gay community.
Now here I am, 5’11, not a typical Asian height, slightly more weight than the stereotype. I want to to 160, but I’m 180. I want to lose 30 pounds and gain 10 pounds of muscle. This is what stereotypes do to people. It has been so ingrained into my self that it has created MY self perception of beauty.
it was a lot of fun!!! lots of really talented people!!
lol i never got flowers before.
i really didnt expect to win. especially because most of the audience came from other schools so i…
So this fella means a lot to me. he made me really proud last friday night and won UCR’s Viet Idol (even though he’s filipino) other school competed, but he kept UCR pride going W00t W00t <3 you bro :)
WHAT IS IT: The Transgender Day of Remembrance is held in November each year to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. Although… not every person represented during the Day of Remembrance self-identified as transgender, each was a victim of violence based on bias against transgender people. The list of deaths available here, only contains those deaths known to the transgender community or that have been reported to the media. The Day of Remembrance is held in November to honor Rita Hester, whose murder kicked off the “Remembering Our Dead” web project and a San Francisco candlelight vigil in 1999. Rita Hester’s murder — like most anti-transgender murder cases — has yet to be solved.
PURPOSE: The Transgender Day of Remembrance serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people, an action that current media doesn’t perform. Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of transgender people who might otherwise be forgotten. Through the vigil, we express love and respect in the face of national indifference and hatred. Day of Remembrance gives transgender people and their allies a chance to step forward and stand in vigil, memorializing those who’ve died by anti-transgender violence. Putting on the Day of Remembrance in schools can also be used as a way to educate students, teachers, and administrators about transgender issues, so we can try to prevent anti-transgender hatred and violence from continuing.
WHO IS BEING HONORED: Over the past year, over 30 transgender people have lost their lives due to hate crimes, but this is unfortunately just the tip of the iceberg of people killed worldwide due to bias and hatred based on gender identity and expression. Most of the victims were people of color who came from working class backgrounds. Among the fallen are transgender and gender non-conforming youth of color whose lives were cut short unnecessarily.
Gwen Araujo, 17, (Newark, California) chose the name, Gwen, after her favorite star, Gwen Stefani, from the group No Doubt. Before her untimely death, her skirt was lifted up for people to see that she was born biologically male before she was beaten and buried in a shallow grave.
Alina Marie Barragan, 19, (San Jose, California) was strangled to death and her body was stuffed in the trunk of a car after a man named Kozi Santino Scott became enraged after discovering that Alina Marie, who he originally thought was a woman, was biologically male.
Sakia Gunn, 15, (Newark, New Jersey) was a gender non-conforming lesbian who was targeted because of her gender presentation. Sakia Gunn was not like most girls in her neighborhood. She refused to wear pink even as a young child. Her mother laughs when asked if Sakia played with dolls. When they were given to her as toys, she immediately cut off their hair, she says. For as long as anyone can remember, Sakia preferred baggy jeans and a T-shirt over dresses and skirts. On a hot night in June, Sakia and her friends were returning from the Chelsea Piers in downtown Manhattan, a hangout for mostly queer youth of color, to Newark, New Jersey. When Sakia and her friends, refused the advances of a couple of men, Sakia was subsequently stabbed and passed away on the way to the hospital.
Nireah Johnson, 17, (Indianapolis, Indiana) was murdered by a man who became enraged when he discovered that Nireah, the young woman he was attracted to, was transgender. Nireah and a friend, 18-year-old Brandie Coleman, were shot in the head while sitting in a SUV.
Freddie Martinez, 16, (Cortez, Colorado) was a very striking Navajo teen who presented as female and was often harassed at school. Freddie was murdered in Cortez, Colorado.
Nikki Nicholas, 19, (Detroit, Michigan) was an African-American transwoman making her living as a performer in clubs where she often danced and lip-synched to Beyonce songs. The youngster preferred playing with Barbie dolls rather than G.I. Joes, Nicholas’ mother said, and by age 11 began experimenting with girls’ clothing and makeup. Her body was discovered during a routine property check of an abandoned farmhouse.
Stephanie Thomas, 19, and Ukea Davis, 18, (Washington, DC) were friends found shot to death together. They were a part of SMYL (Sexual Minority Youth Liaison) and were often teased for being feminine. Stephanie started wearing dresses and makeup at the age of 14. Her mother commented that “on the school bus kids tormented her, so she would get off and walk a couple miles to the school.” Through a transgender health group, Stephanie met Ukea Davis, another transgender woman. They supported one another, especially when classmates—and even teachers—harassed them about their gender identity.
Sadly, these numbers are continuing to grow. With TV shows like Jerry Springer, gender identity is trivialized as transgender and gender non-conforming people are brought on the show and bashed verbally and sometimes physically. When people watch shows like this or when we reduce people’s experiences to phrases like “he was dressed as a woman,” we trivialize gender and people’s identities.
For Gwen, Stephanie, Nikki, and other transgender teenagers, public school is usually not a safe place for them to express their gender. In addition, if they come from school districts that are underfunded, there will not be any funds to have teacher trainings and programs that address diversity, especially gender identity. Very few states have laws that protect transgender and gender non-conforming students’ rights.
TRANSGENDER PEOPLE KILLED MORE THEN A YEAR AGO: Alabama Tarayon Corbitt On August 10, 1995, in Dale County, AL, Tarayon Corbitt (19), a transgender woman, was found dead – shot twice in the head and once in the chest. Her murder remains unsolved.
Ashley Nickson On May 1, 2005, in Dothan, AL, Ashley Nickson (30), an African-American transgender woman, was shot three times in her home by Steven Kyles (19) following a sexual encounter. Kyles, who had a history of violence, had been released from jail for an unrelated shooting just days earlier.
Jerrell Williams In November 1997 in Mobile, AL, Jerrell Williams (19), an African-American cross-dresser, was stabbed and had his throat slashed. His assailant, Tavares Forrest, pleaded guilty to manslaughter and was sentenced to 15 years.
Arizona Delilah Corrales On May 6, 2005, in Yuma, AZ, Delilah Corrales (23), a transgender Latina woman, was found stabbed, severely beaten, and drowned in the Colorado River. Her murder remains unsolved.
Alejandro Lucero On March 3, 2002, in Phoenix, AZ, Alejandro Lucero (25), a transgender Hopi woman, was strangled and beaten to death. Police ruled the murder a hate crime, but her case remains unsolved.
California Gwen Araujo On October 3, 2002, in Newark, CA, Gwen Araujo (17), a Latina transgender teen, was beaten and strangled to death by recent acquaintances who learned she was biologically male. Michael Magidson (25) and José Merél (25) were convicted of second degree murder and sentenced to 15 15 years-to-life in prison. Jaron Nabors (22) was sentenced to 11 years in prison pursuant to a plea agreement. Jason Cazares plead no contest to voluntary manslaughter and was snetenced to six years in prison. Michael Magidson, 25, Jaron Nabors, 22, José Merél, 25
On January 19, 2000, in San Jose, CA, the body of Alina Marie Barragan (19), a transgender Latina woman, was found strangled to death following a sexual encounter in which her assailant learned she was biologically male. Kozi Santino Scott (21) was convicted and sentenced to 15 years to life.
Chanel Chandler On September 28, 1998, in Clovis, CA, Chanel Chandler (22), an African-American transgender woman, was found with her throat cut from a beer bottle in her apartment, which had been set on fire in what police called an attempt to destroy evidence. Christopher Lopez and Christopher Chavez werecharged with Chanel’s murder but were released in 1999 after the charges were dropped.
Sindy Cuarda On September 30, 2003, in San Pablo, CA, Sindy Cuarda (24), a transgender Latina woman, was killed with multiple gunshots to her upper body. Her murder remains unsolved.
Feliciano Moreno On December 26, 2004, in Los Angeles, CA, Feliciano Moreno (25), a Latina transgender woman was shot in the head and dumped in a cul-de-sac. She had been involved in sex-work. Patrick Vallor (29), the primary suspect, was killed by police after he lead them on a high-speed chase.
James Rivers In December 1995 in Oakland, CA, James Percy Rivers (23), an African-American transgender woman, was stabbed and beaten to death in her apartment. Her murder remains unsolved.
Joel Robles On August 15, 2004, in Fresno, CA, Joel Robles (29), a Latina transgender woman, was stabbed 20 times after a sexual partner discovered she was biologically male. Estanislao Martinez (23) pleaded guilty to the murder and was sentenced to four years in prison.
Colorado Fred Martinez On June 16, 2001, in Cortez, CO, Fred Martinez (16), a Two-Spirit Navajo teen, was bludgeoned to death on the edge of town as he walked home. Shaun Murphy (18) pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 40 years in prison.
Connecticut On May 9, 2003 in New Haven, CT, Jessica Mercado (24), a transgender Latina who was involved in sex-work, suffered multiple stab wounds before her apartment was set on fire. Michael Streater (30) pleaded guilty to first-degree murder and arson; he was sentenced to 30 years in prison.
Delaware Robert H. Jones On October 15, 1997, in New Castle, DE, Robert H. Jones (30), a transgender woman, was stabbed to death. Jones was attacked in her car after her assailant learned she was biologically male. Ronald Taltoan plead guilty to manslaughter and was sentenced to a prison term of 10 years.
Florida Deasha Andrews On August 8, 2002, in Jacksonville, FL„ Deasha Andrews (28), an African-American transgender woman, was found shot to death in her car. Her murder remains unsolved.
Cinnamon Broadus In January 2003 in Fort Lauderdale, FL, Cinnamon Broadus (21) a transgender woman was shot and died while running from her assailants. Her murder remains unsolved.
Allison Decatrel On October 31, 1999, in Iverness, FL, Allison Decatrel (17), was fatally hit by a car. Allison had been trick-or-treating with her friends, who were all dressed in clothes of the opposite sex, when her assailant made derogatory comments about their costumes. Richard Burzynski (18) was sentenced to a prison term of 45 years.
Reshae McCauley On December 13, 2003, in Largo, FL, Reshae McCauley (30), a cross-dresser, was fatally stabbed at home. McCauley was last seen with William McHenry (34) at a club that caters to the LGBT community. McHenry, whose blood-spattered clothing was found in the victim’s apartment, was sentenced to life in prison.
Georgia Robert Martin On January 7, 2001, in Ashburn, GA, Robert Martin (29), an African-American crossdresser, was found severely beaten in an abandoned school-yard. He was still wearing a feminine wig. Martin was in a coma three months before dying. His murder remains unsolved.
Quincy Taylor In October 1995 in Atlanta, GA, Quincy Favors Taylor (16), an African-American cross-dresser, was fatally shot once in the chest in a parking lot. His murder remains unsolved.
Illinois Sidney Wright On June 18, 2005, in Chicago, IL, Sidney Wright (26), an African-American transgender woman, was punched and stabbed to death by Michael Majors (25) following an argument about Wright’s sexual orientation. Majors was arrested and charged with first-degree murder.
Christian Paige On March 22, 1996, in Chicago, IL, Christian Paige (22), a transgender woman, was beaten, strangled, and then stabbed with a knife more than 20 times. Her apartment was then set afire, possibly to destroy evidence. Her murder remains unsolved.
Indiana Brandie Coleman On July 23, 2003 in Indianapolis, IN, Brandie Coleman (18), an African-American woman, was found in a car with a transgender friend, Nireah Johnson. Both were bound and shot to death. Their car had been set afire, possibly to destroy evidence. Paul Anthony Moore (20) was convicted and sentenced to 120 years in prison in 2004.
Nireah Johnson On July 23, 2003, in Indianapolis, IN, Nireah Johnson (17), an African-American transgender woman, was found in a car with a friend, Brandie Coleman. Both had been bound and shot to death by a sexual partner who learned that she was biologically male. Paul Anthony Moore (20) was convicted of murder, criminal confinement and arson, and sentenced to 120 years in 2004.
Kentucky Timothy Blair, Jr. On May 22, 2005 in Louisville, KY, Timothy Blair, Jr. (22), an African-American cross-dresser, was found shot multiple times while wearing feminine attire. His murder remains unsolved.
Massachusetts Chanelle Pickett In November 1995 in Boston, MA, Chanelle Pickett (23), a transgender woman, was beaten to death by her date after he discovered she was biologically male. In 1997, William Palmer was convicted of assault and battery, which carried a maximum sentence of 2 1/2 years.
Michigan Tamyra Michaels On December 14, 2002, in Highland Park, MI, Tamyra Michaels (26), a transgender woman, was shot. Her murder remains unsolved.
Nikki Nicholas On February 21, 2003, in Green Oak Township, MI, Nikki Nicholas (19), an African-American transgender woman, was shot to death in an abandoned farmhouse. The case remains unsolved.
New Jersey Sakia Gunn On May 11, 2003 in Newark, NJ, Sakia Gunn (15), an African-American lesbian, was stabbed to death while waiting at a bus stop with friends. Richard McCullough, whose advances had been rejected by the group of friends, pleaded guilty to aggravated manslaughter, aggravated assault, and bias intimidation and was sentenced to 20 years in prison.
Kareem Washington On August 29, 1999, in Passaic, NJ, Kareem Washington (21), an African-American cross-dresser, died from stab wounds in the back and neck. The body had been left in an industrial area of the town and police believed the assault may have been sex-work related. His murder remains unsolved.
New Mexico Ryan Hoskie On December 27, 2004, in Albuquerque, NM, Ryan Hoskie (23), an African-American transgender woman involved in sex work, was found dead in an alley. Her body showed signs of upper body trauma. Her murder remains unsolved.
New York Amanda Milan On June 20, 2000, in New York, NY, Amanda Millan (25), an African-American transgender woman who was involved in sex-work, was stabbed to death. According to witnesses, Amanda’s throat was slashed after she was verbally harassed about her biological sex. Dwayne McCuller (20) pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 17 1/2 years to life.
Dion Webster In November 1996 in New York, NY, Dion Webster (21), African-American and transgender, was killed by multiple stabs to the head with a knife. Webster had been involved in sex work, and was believed to be killed by a client. Her murder remains unsolved.
Ohio Chareka Keys On September 27, 1999, in Cleveland, OH, Chareka Keys (19), an African-American transgender woman, was found beaten to death in an abandoned factory. Police ruled out robbery as a motive; her murder remains unsolved.
Donathyn Rodgers On November 15, 2005, in Cleveland, OH, Donathyn Rodgers (19), an African-American transgender woman, died from gun shots to the face, back, shoulder, and thigh. The shooting an abandoned gas station was suspected to be sex-work related. Her murder remains unsolved.
Oregon Jacqueline Anderson In February 1998 in Portland, OR, Jacqueline Julita Anderson (29), a bearded woman, was shot to death by the ex-boyfriend of her partner. Eric Running (47) was convicted of aggravated murder and sentenced to death.
Loni Kai Okaruru On August 26, 2001, in Hillsboro, OR, the body of Loni Kai Okaruru (28), an Asian/Pacific-Islander crossdresser, was found dead in a field. Her head had been severely and repeatedly beaten. Loni Kai was wearing feminine attire at the time of the murder. Her murder remains unsolved.
Texas Bibi Barajas In January 2002 in Houston, TX, Bibi Barajas (27), a transgender woman who had been involved in sex work, was found dead from multiple gunshot wounds to her neck, arm and chest. Her murder remains unsolved.
Arlene Diaz In April 2002 in El Paso, TX, Arlene Diaz (28), a transgender Latina, was killed by a single gunshot. Police classified the murder as a hate crime. The alleged assailant, Justen Hall (20), was charged with murder but sentenced to death on an unrelated murder charge before prosecution.
Michael Hurd On June 18, 2003, in Houston, TX, Michael Hurd, a 23-year-old crossdresser was shot to death in his car. Michael was found wearing a wig, make-up, and feminine attire. His murder remains unsolved.
Francisco Luna On March 4, 2001, in Houston, TX, Francisco Luna (29), a transgender Latina woman, was shot multiple times in the face, stomach and shoulder. Her case remains unsolved.
Lauryn Paige On January 8, 1999, in Austin, TX, Lauryn Paige (19), a transgender woman, was found dead – she had been stabbed with a knife more than 60 times and her throat cut so deeply that she was almost decapitated. Camaliel Coria (28) was sentenced to 40 years in prison.
Christina Smith On October 12, 2005, in Houston, TX, Christina Smith (20), a transgender woman was found shot in the head on the front patio of her apartment. Her murder remains unsolved.
Washington, D.C. Bella Evangelista On August 16, 2003, in Washington, D. C., Bella Evangelista (25), a transgender Latina woman, was shot to death. Antoine Jacobs (22) confessed and was convicted of second-degree murder; he was sentenced to 17 years in prison.
Ukea Davis In the early morning of August 12, 2002, in Washington, D. C., Ukea Davis (18) an African-American transgender woman, was killed with her friend Stephanie Thomas (also transgender) in a hail of automatic gun-fire from a passing car. Their assailant then returned on foot, walked up to their car, and fired another burst of more than 20 bullets into their dead bodies. Her murder remains unsolved. The two girls had been bullied so severely at school that they feared returning and had recently dropped out.
Tyra Henderson On April 23, 2000, in Washington, D. C., Tyra Henderson (22), an African-American transgender woman involved in sex work was found bludgeoned to death. Her murder remains unsolved.
Tyra Hunter On August 7, 1995, in Washington, D. C., Tyra Hunter (24), an African-American transgender woman, was critically injured in a car accident. According to witnesses, the emergency medical technician stopped working on her for two to five critical minutes to laugh with his partner after discovering that she had male genitalia. Tyra died as a result of her injuries.
Emonie Spaulding On August 21, 2003, in Washington D. C., Emonie Kiera Spaulding (25), an African-American transgender sex worker, was shot and killed after her assailant learned that she was biologically male. Derrick A. Lewis (23) pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter while armed and was sentenced to 10 years in prison.
Stephanie Thomas On August 12, 2002, in Washington D. C., Stephanie Thomas (19), an African-American transgender woman, was killed with her friend Ukea Davis (also transgender) only a block from her home in a hail of automatic gun-fire from a passing car. Their assailant then returned on foot, walked up to their car, and fired another burst of more than 20 bullets into their dead bodies. Her murder remains unsolved. The two girls had been bullied so severely at school that they feared returning and had recently dropped out. Their murders remain unsolved.
Imani Williams On August, 21, 2003, in Washington, D.C., Imani Williams (24), an African-American transgender woman, was found beaten and shot to death. Her murder remains unsolved.
HELP STOP HATE AND SPREAD THE WORD WITH USAThere’s a lot of people out there who wore purple “for the gays” and “totally support gay people” but look away when people who are transgender are attacked for who they are because they think it’s “gross” or “too different.”
Brandon Teena On December 31, 1993, in Humboldt, Nebraska, Brandon Teena, a trans man, was brutally raped and murdered by John L. Lotter and Marvin Thomas “Tom” Nissen, who he thought were his friends. He was raped and murdered when they found out that he was genetically female.
During a Christmas Eve party, Nissen and Lotter grabbed Teena and forced him to remove his pants, proving that he was genetically female. Lotter and Nissen later assaulted Teena, and forced him into a car. They drove to an area by a meat-packing plant in Richardson County, where they assaulted and raped him. They then returned to Nissen’s home. Teena escaped from Nissen’s bathroom by climbing out the window, and went to his girlfriend’s house. He was convinced by her to file a police report, though Nissen and Lotter had warned Teena not to tell the police about the rape or they would “silence him permanently”. Teena also went to the emergency room where a standard rape kit was assembled, and later lost. Nissen and Lotter learned of the report, and they began to search for Teena. They did not find him, and three days later the police questioned them. The sheriff declined to have them arrested due to lack of evidence.
Nissen and Lotter drove to a friend of Brandon’s house and broke in. They found his friend in bed and demanded to know where Teena was. His friend refused to tell them. Nissen searched and found Teena under the bed. The men asked Lambert if there was anyone else in the house, and she replied that Phillip DeVine, who at the time was dating Teena’s girlfriend’s sister,was staying with her. They shot and killed DeVine, Lambert, and Teena, in front of Lambert’s toddler. Nissen and Lotter then left, later being arrested and charged with murder.
I posted this story because all of these cases dealt with trans women. Trans men are targeted, too. We need to raise awareness.
being able to understand people. i was always trapped in this little bubble that i thought i knew EVERYTHING (how blissful it was to be in high school again). I learned through a friend, who is no longer my friend, that perspectives is a very important lens to wear when out in the real world; that everyone has their own battles so keep patience. But to also contrast that, we must also know what WE WANT from life, because in the end, we are the only ones that can make us happy, loved ones die, cheat, become apathetic; friends come and go, bridges burned. we are the only ones that can determine how we feel from these experiences.
i once thought that, in life, we should never lose any friends, but some bridges are built are meant to be burned. we believe that destroying this bridge is a horrible thing, that we are taught to not love destroyed things, but in reality, it’s sometimes beautiful and an experience to learn from. but that’s just me… iono <3
You know, I really only see you mostly on Mondays and Thursdays now, but with all your posts, I feel like I see you everyday. I hope that's not... awkward or anything. HAHA You're posts are great, and they make me smile:] Just thought I'd let you know. See you at rehearsal. Byeee(: